Welcome to the next instalment of the great flood of January 2010. If you are new to the Emporium, I promise we don’t usually dwell on domestic dramas. If you are a returning guest, I hope this flood worthy fashion fest amuses and entertains you.
When we left off around 1am, the water was continuing to seep through the floor, while I continued to wring out towels and rotate them every 30 – 40 minutes. I watched a few episodes of MadMen, perfectly timed for towel rotation and pondered my list of things to do, though with hands raw from towel wringing I didn’t much feel like anything except sitting on couch putting moisturiser on.
Around 3.30am I made the final rotation – the unused beach towel (and last resort shower towel) got a guernsey and my dressing gown also put in an appearance. I figured with two fresh ‘absorbables’ on the floor, I could get in at least 1 and maybe 2 hours sleep – I wasn’t letting that go by.
Back in my own bed with my own pillows, I fell asleep instantly and when the alarm went off two hours later I cringed with the knowledge that just outside my door there was a very good chance there was water waiting for me everywhere. The dressing gown and beach towel did a stand up job but I threw down some more tea towels for good measure and boiled the kettle. Coffee was required. It was going to be a long day.
The first rule of flood fashion is to not wear anything you actually like or might want to be able to wear out at some point. Clothes made of plastic are the best. Cottons and jersey fabrics lend themselves to comfort when one has to sit on the couch for hours and hours on end but are super absorbant when you are working with water. Something with a three quarter leg and sleeve is most appropriate – its hard to clean up walking around on a damp hem and you might also find yourself with a cuff intertwined in a wet towel.
I wouldn’t recommend jewellery or heels unless you are truly trying to impress the plumber, in which case good luck – unwashed hair and no make- up on 2 hours sleep is really alluring. Bare feet on wet tiles might not be the safest but at least you can dry them and not take the flood to parts of the house unaffected by water.
My plumber arrived just after 7.30am this morning and 3 hours later was still stumped as to where all the water was coming from. He tells me that in six years of plumbing he has never encountered such a dilemma. I feel slightly proud that my problem is a challenge but at the same time wonder why I have to be so damn special. The leak guy is booked to come back at 12, but all accounts thus far point towards pulling out the laundry. The great flood of January 2010 could turn into the had-to-have renovation of January 2010.
At this stage I’d settle for a shower, a good cup of coffee and even being able to go to work. Daytime TV is on during the day when no one is at home for a reason and its only saving grace is that the Australian Open is being held at the moment (though I still would have preferred the Golden Globes yesterday!).
After the plumber and leak guy solve this mystery, my bad luck when it comes to water has to have expired. I hate to think what else could go wrong! I’ll move my shoes to higher ground though, just in case.
Fingers crossed this isn’t next…
