My favourite TV show is Friends. Has been for a lot of years. I believe most things in life can be related back to a Friends episode and tonight’s choice ep is The One Where they’re up all night. Monica and Chandler can’t sleep, Ross and Joey get stuck on the roof, Phoebe and a smoke alarm have it out while Rachel and her boyfriend Tag settle a disagreement by heading to their office in the middle of the night.

Tonight is the one where I am up all night. It 6 minutes til midnight, and I am still awake, still on the computer, still replying to emails from work. Not because I want to, or because Jelana Dokic is playing such a riveting match at the Australian Open, but because my apartment flooded again tonight and for some reason, even with the water turned off, the water won’t stop coming though the floor.

If you read my blog post the other day, you will be aware of my predicament at the moment which involved first no hot water, then a deluge the next day. On Wednesday last week I headed home to Mum and Dads until the leak guy could come on Monday and fix the problem that apparently the plumber alone could not.

5 days of fun with the folks later and I was looking forward to a good day at work, a phone call from the plumber saying everything was ok, a great dinner with friends and then home to my little apartment, ready to right my furniture and enjoy the tennis.

That was 4 hours ago, but I think things started to go downhill when it was raining this morning. With winteresque conditions today and 45 degrees last Monday, Melbourne surely is a city of all seasons. In my haste to pack I hadn’t thought to bring my winter woollies and jacket so the day was spent with the air of a chill, though I did manage to grab a coat from the eBay pile at Mum and Dads.

The plumber called early afternoon – he and the leak guy were at my place and they couldn’t find any problems. ‘Are you sure?’ I asked, ‘cause otherwise, where did all the water come from?’ My concerns were met with disdain. ‘We looked’ he said. And they went home.

I had hoped they were right. I had hoped I would come home and everything would be well with the world and I could watch the tennis in peace. But instead I came home to another deluge of water and this time, turning off the taps to the mains hasn’t helped. At 8pm, I called the emergency plumber. He seemed to think after the failings of the leak guy that the neighbours were to blame. At 9pm I cried out of frustration and my failings at DIY. At 10pm I sighed and checked the water taps again. By 11pm I had only one fresh towel left and was preparing to use the tea towels and sheets.

It is now 12.30pm. The night’s tennis is done and replays have started. I am contemplating all the things one could do over the course of a 6 hour vigil to watch over the state of one’s carpet. So here it is, my handy how to stay up guide for the next time your apartment floods ? 

– Paint your nails, fingers and toes. You have plenty of time for them to dry.
– Bake a cake. It will definitely mask the smell of the water leak.
– Hope that some kind of international sporting event is on.
– Watch back episodes of Friends, or any other TV show you choose to frequent.
– Buy towels on eBay for future use next time your apartment floods.
– Iron.
– Actually read the coffee table books on your coffee table.
– Alphabetise. Everything.
– Sync your iTunes and actually make playlists instead of using shuffle all the time.
– Chat with people on Facebook on the other side of the world (or the other side of town if they are awake)
– Write the next great novella.
– Teach yourself French using an iPhone application.
– Choose your outfits for the next decade.

So now it’s nearly 1am. I still have copious amounts of water everywhere. I’ve just realised that my dressing gown is made of towelling and will succumb to the wet and my last towel that I was saving for my shower will be next. As for me, there is nothing to do but wait.